I recently spent some time at Cougar Hot Springs. The pools were much hotter than the last time I was there and the air temperature was about 85 degrees. After about an hour at the spring, I decided it was just too hot and that a dip in the Lagoon was called for.
The water was just great. I must have spent at least a half hour swimming, natural of course. I got out and decided to air dry while sitting on a stump.
You’ve got to realize that this stump was weathered and had obviously spent a lot of time under water. The surface was cut flat and I thought a perfect place to sit in the sun. What I didn’t notice was that in spite of the apparent age of the stump, the top had pitch on it and as I got off I discovered I carried some of it away on a certain portion of my anatomy.
Imagine, if you will, my wife’s amusement when I explained the sticky situation to her. With grace, dignity and a whole lot of laughter she offered to rub cooking oil on the sticky mess to get the pitch off. With me leaning over the bed in the travel trailer we discovered I had gobs of pitch in my hair in places I didn’t even know I had places.
So let my em-bare-ass-ment be a lesson to you and print out the little poem below to help you remember to never sit unprotected upon a stump.
Nudeling
If you would set bare upon the stump,
Be sure that you protect your rump.
For if you don’t then you may find
You trail a sticky mess behind.
And laughter will surely fill your house,
And you’ll need help from your giggling spouse.